Kyle Rutkin

Digital Marketer. Brand Strategist. Freelance Writer.

I Cry When I Write

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RECORD SCRATCH! WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS BLOG TO ALLOW THE WRITER TO STOP FAKING THE FUNK! Sometimes, I blog incorrectly. Is there such a thing? I think so.


When I sit down to write a book, I pour out my heart. I don't give a fuck what comes out; I never edit a first draft. I write like someone is chasing me down (Steven Pressfield taught me that). Sometimes the writing is good, sometimes it doesn't make any sense. But whatever you call it, it is a direct reflection of me. I overuse pop culture references, weave useless Lord of The Rings anlogies into chapters, and if you pull out my earplugs, you will either hear overly dramatic emo music or hard core gangsta shit. That's my process.

And yes, I'll admit it, sometimes I cry when I write fiction. At one point, the story hits so close to home that tears fall on my macbook keyboard. I know, right? Can you picture some random dude at Starbucks pouring out snot into a tissue as he sits staring at his computer WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!????

But what about blogging? Have I ever felt like I was pouring my heart out? Not really. Not once have I ever felt those type of raw emotions.

Because somewhere along the way I took my emotions out of the blogging process. And because of this, the writing has never felt completely authentic. It has my voice, but it doesn't have my heart. Chances are, if it was on a yahoo home page, you might click the link, but in the end, you're not going to want to follow me as a writer. I'm forgettable.

So who is the culprit?

Maybe it's branding.

I let branding beat the shit out of me. For as long as I can remember,  I have driving myself crazy with branding. When I sought representation for my first book, I was fratire. When I started my first blog, I was romantic comedy. Then I wanted an inspirational voice! Ok, enough's enough. I have to stop. Yes, there needs to be a business aspect to turn the so called hobby of writing into viable income, but at what expense.  Because for good or bad, I am me. I write about love, because I love the emotions that come with loving another person. I write about marketing because I love coming up with creative ideas and putting them to the world. I write about dreams because I'm an insane advocate of following them with persistence effort. And yes, sometimes when I write I use the word FUCK. I'm sorry dad, I know you don't consider this a real word. But to me, it has its place.

I'm not a sex bot that sends you direct messages on twitter. I'm not a robotic writer that shoots out blog posts about the Kardashians.  I can't write romance novels about vampires ( I have tried) and I wear my heart on my sleave in hopes that I will do something meaningful with my pen.

And I say Chuuuch because I listen to a lot of Snoop Dogg, whatever.


If you are artist in any field,  it's ok to pick a topic or niche and stick with it. But just make sure that whatever art you're doing reflects "who you are." If not, your endeavor won't reflect whatever it is that makes you remarkable.