If Seth Godin Was My Mentor

I’d probably ask him whether or not I should publish my book.

And he would respond, “Why do you need my permission?”

In which I would say, “Oh sh**, maybe you’re right.”

If Seth Godin was my mentor…

I’d probably ask for a ton of advice on how and when I should put my book on the market.

And he would respond with two words, “Ship it.”

In which I would say, “Oh sh**, maybe you’re right.”

If Seth Godin was my mentor…

I’d probably ask for advice on how to market myself?

And he would respond, “Build a tribe.”

In which I would say, “Got it.”

If Seth Godin Was My Mentor…

I’d probably send him a signed autograph of my first novel to say thank you for the inspiration.

Hope you got it, Seth.

Thank you to everyone so far that has shared and supported my second novel, A Life Told From The Cloud.  And if you haven’t seen it, check it out right now!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/563551372/a-life-told-from-the-cloud

As a part of the research for my new book, A Life Told From The Cloud, I took it upon myself to dive deep into the unknown: the dark and dangerous world of the facebook timeline. The first stop, freshman year of college. Meet Kyle: A  scrawny eighteen who has just escaped the reign of his overprotective mom.  If I could write a note to myself now, it would have said this: “Hey idiot, I know you want to drink every night, but do your best and not act like a complete asshole on facebook. It’s all being recorded buddy.”

Here are the thought bubbles while going through the timeline.

1.  (2005)  Why is there more than one picture of me holding a Jagr bottle? #Gross.

2.  (2008) Wow, my status updates were depressing after college.

3.  (2008)  I dated her?

4. (2005) Yup, there’s the Ron Bergundy quoting phase.

5.  (2007) Is there a button to detag every picture before the age of 25?

6. (2005) When was it okay to say “fuck” on facebook? Oh that’s right, before my mother, aunt, ten cousins and my boss signed on.

7. (2008) Sooo that’s when my metabolism started to slow down.

8. (2005) I finally realize what my dad meant when he said, “that was the style back then.”  #Skateshoes #Visors #Silverchains

9. (2004) Why can’t I click on my ex girlfriend from freshman year… oh wait, yup, I remember…Defriended

10. (2008) I was WAAY more popular in college.

11. (2004)  Don’t remember that picture.. or that picture… or that picture…

12. (2005) Ahhh, so that’s what people wore before skinny jeans.

13. (2006) Flex Fit Volcom skater hats huh?

14. (2009) When was the last time I updated that blog?

15. (2007) Ahhh, “The find myself after college Europe trip.” Also known as the first and last time I left California.

16. (2008)  I can’t believe Blacked OUT Brandon is still alive! I can’t believe he’s married!

17.  (2007) I guess I went to the club a lot after that breakup. #ThanksKristen.

18.  (2008) I’ll call this the “throw a piece sign up in every picture” phase.

19.  (2004) ALL this will be deleted when I have kids.

20. (2009) So that’s when I decided to stop shopping at Pacific Sunwear

21. (2009) Does Mafia Wars still exist? I wonder how my dad’s virtual farm is doing?

22.  (2007) I will now copy and paste this wall post to remind myself how horrible the friend zone is: “wanna do lunch.”

23.  (2007)  Apparently, I attended an event called, “Boats and Ho’s.” Still looking for clues to see how that party turned out.

24. (2010) So that’s when I started shopping at Banana Republic.

25.  (2004)  Best wall post from my ex = “who is that skank that just tagged you in that photo.”

26. (2006) Yup, still using the word EPIC.

27. (2008) My transition from Keystone Light to Paps.

28. (2009) My transition from Paps to Stella.

29 (2010) My transition from Stella to staying in on Friday.

30. (2012) New “I’m getting older” status update: Please read whatever blog/book/business/online article I’m promoting or reading.

If for any reason this inspires you to search your own facebook timeline, I would love to get your findings.

AND.. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT MY KICKSTARTER PAGE. The book A Life Told From The Cloud is an awesome story. A novel told entirely through a facebook timeline. Due out this September with your support

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/563551372/a-life-told-from-the-cloud

The greatest discovery I’ve had since graduating college has been GOALS.

It seems like a simple thing, everyone in this world has goals in their life, right? Wrong. I can’t tell you how many years I wasted in life without a real goal. Oh wait. Yes I can. All the way up till I graduated college.

And just to clear it up, a goal to me has nothing to do with completing tasks on someone else’s path. Yes, I graduated college. Yes, I had what was considered a good job out of college. But neither of those things gave me any sense of accomplishments because they were milestones expected of me, and not a goal I figured out for myself.

To me, a goal is something that YOU define. It is something you stand for and believe in.  For some, graduating college or getting a good job is a goal they set for themselves, and for those people, that accomplishment is something they can be proud of. For me, school was a great place to network and make lifelong friends, but on a whole, the actual milestone gave me a large lump of debt without any sense of real accomplishment.

My first real goal came at the age of twenty-three when I decided I wanted to be a published author. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Not the writing of the book, or even the publishing side of it, but the actual decision to put myself out there–to expose myself to criticism and failure. Ok world, here it is, please don’t sock me in the balls and leave me stranded on “you suck” island.  

On 09/2011, after three years of dealing with self-doubt and fear, I accomplished my first goal. I remember holding that book, like holy shit, that’s what reaching a goal feels like. DAMN THAT FEELS GOOD! And just like an entrepreneur or artist after delivering their work to the world, I was exposed. Not a day went by that wasn’t anticipating a massive uproar, or some dude sending my book back with a giant, “I hate you,” written on the cover with sharpie. Days became weeks and weeks became months, and suddenly I realized that I had survived. Yeah sure, my grandpa was upset that used the word “fuck” in the book, and that one facebook friend who studied English Lit in college had a few million suggestions, but on a whole, I made it through. I had a tangible book that I could hold, smell, read, use as a doorstop, whatever. No one sent me hardcore hate mail and my amazon page didn’t instantly fill up with one star reviews and serious threats. So maybe, just maybe, this goal thing isn’t so bad.

So I set a new goal.

I want to become a NY Times Bestseller and publish a book that builds a tribe and inspires people to chase their passion in life.

The biggest advantage of having goals is their power to align your actions. As soon as you set a goal, it’s freakin crazy how the universe works in your favor. Almost immediately after setting this new goal, I started writing. There was no outline or crazy organization involved, I just wrote every day for three months until I had a Microsoft word file that was saved as “A Life Told From The Cloud(First Draft). Then, after a few more months trying to figure out how I would share it with the world, I stumbled upon Kickstarter… and the rest is history.

So why Kickstarter?

I admit, the idea was hard to grasp at first. Am I the grown up version of the 5th grader coming to your door with See’s candy bars?  Should I just send an email blast to friends, family and the one or two high school teachers who actually thought I was a legit student? But then I started looking at all the projects on kickstarter, and I can’t tell you how pumped up this got me. Here are artists, entreprenuers, and creators from all walks of life, revealing their passion and goals to like minded peers and friends. Nothing can be more inspiring than seeing someone else explaining their dream, reaching for something bigger than themselves. HELL YEAH! And in that moment, I was hooked. I want to tell people what I stand for and the things that I believe in.

So today my project goes live. I can’t lie and say I don’t have high hopes. We all should no matter what we are working on in life: a relationship, a project, anything that matters to you. If you are dating someone and you don’t hope you have a future with them, you should probably get the “break up” talk over with. If you are in a job that you don’t hope to go anywhere at, you should start looking for something you DO enjoy. That being said, I hope that people respond to the project. I hope that people believe in me as a writer and a storyteller. Obviously, the stipulation of Kickstater (achieve your goal or you get nothing) is a scary thing, but at the end of the day, it’s that hope of accomplishing these kind of goals that get us up in the morning.

And that is my road to Kickstarter.

Here is the link!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/563551372/a-life-told-from-the-cloud

Thanks everyone for your support.

Have you ever gone for a run without a plan?

Just like, “ok, I should probably go for a run, let’s do this.”

If you’re anything like me, this is what happens.

I start out with a good song on my Ipod and I start cruising, oh yeah, oh yeah, killing it! Then after three songs, I start to slow down. My lungs start to cry for air and my forehead is dripping like a Gatorade commercial. This is the part where I end up stopping, wheezing and rolling on the ground. That’s it, I’m done!

But why do I quit?

Because I had no plan, no goals and no commitment to the run.

Now if running was a priority in my life, this is what I would need to do.

I would need to set a goal. I want to run 10 miles by 8/2012. Ok, goal is set.  Now I will set milestones: This week I will run three times (2 miles each ). Next week, I will run three times (2.5 miles each) and so forth and so forth, until eventually, by 8/2012, I will have met my 10-mile goal. Next, in order to commit to the goal, I will have to make a list of “why” doing this is important to me.  If the list doesn’t have an emotional charge, if the motivation isn’t there, I will quit at the first sign of pain. Once I decide that the “why” is strong enough for me to continue, I will sign my name down next to the goal and remind myself everyday that this is what I’m doing, anything short of my goal is unacceptable. This is my commitment.

In the subsequent weeks that follow, there will still be a moment during my training that I will want to quit. I’ll be tired, lagging, wheezing and frustrated. This is the point most people give up.  Why? Because the short-term pain starts to outweigh the perceived benefit of reaching their long term goal.

Fortunately, in this case, I have given a 100% commitment to my long term goal, which means that the disappointment in letting myself down is worse than any pain I’m currently enduring. And once I do finish the run, that’s when the pain will be worth the effort. That’s when I’ll feel the biggest sense of accomplishment, because I was willing to go through the hardships that most people aren’t willing to endure.

But to be honest, I hate running.

So I’ll just apply this to my dreams.

I don’t care if you’re a writer, a student, an entrepreneur or even a World of Warcraft gamer—we all rock coffee shops. But somewhere along the way, people forgot the unwritten laws that govern them. One day, I hope to create the first ever Coffee Shop Etiquette Handbook, for those who have forgotten the ways of our java obsessed ancestors. But until then, read up suckers.

 If you say, “watch this for a sec,” don’t go out and talk on the phone for an hour.

Yeah that’s right, I’m talking to the guy who has been outside on his phone for thrity minutes when he said, “hey buddy can you watch my stuff for a sec.”  Ok, yes, I agreed to “watch” his stuff.  But now I feel super obligated to sit here and glance at his macbook every 2-5 minutes to ensure no one walks up and says, “hmm, maybe I should steal this unattended computer.” Not only is this distracting, but suddenly, I have to go the bathroom. And just thinking about going the bathroom while obligated to watch this dudes stuff, is driving me NUTS. So seriously, don’t ask unless you’re really going to be A SECOND and you don’t plan on talking on the phone for thrity minutes or taking a twenty minute dump in the Starbucks bathroom.

Sidenote: I agree I would feel horrible if the phone call was something of serious nature. But you should really see this guy smiling as he walks around in that sweater vest and Iphone attached on his ear–just saying.

•  If you are riding solo, don’t take a big ass table.

Most peeps go to a coffee shop because they are working solo and it’s nice to be around other peeps while they’re doing the same thing. But let’s face it, no one likes the asshole who walks in by himself and grabs the biggest, baddest table available. Yeah, it must feel nice to spread out your papers like you’re doing taxes on the dining room table. Unfortunately, you force the couple next to cram onto the baby table and use their keyboard as a croissant plate just to save room. Tisk, Tisk.

• Sitting near an outlet means you have agreed to help out

When you sit next to an emergency exit on a plane, you agree to help out in case of an emergency. If you don’t, you can’t sit in that row– bottom line.  There is no difference at a coffee shop! If you sit next to an outlet, you are NOT allowed to get pissed when someone asks you to plug in their chord. And don’t try that thing where you pretend not to see me waving my plug at you… oh you see me. So sack up, grab the chord and plug it in–that’s all I’m asking.

•  If someone has their headphones on, it means they don’t want to talk.

Technically, coffee shops are meant for a place of community. I think it’s a great place to catch up or even meet that person on eharmony because you’re not sure they’re worthy of 60 minutes at PF Changs.  But here’s the rule, if someone has headphones in, they don’t want to talk. They don’t want people to ask them, “what are you working on?” They don’t want people to ask them, “did you see that cat that died at 40 on Yahoo’s home page.” Nope.  However, if you’re unclear on the rules, here is a list of acceptable questions.

1)  What is the wifi password? (sorry, you are obligated to answer that one)

2) Are you using this seat? (this is a question you must answer as well)

3) Can you plug this outlet in? (Already mentioned)

• Just because you have a mac, doesn’t mean you’re better than everyone else

Let’s face it, some coffee shops tend to feel a little more upscale than others. There are times when I’ll walk into a coffee shop and see hundreds of little glowing apples lighting up like cell phones at a Coldplay concert.  Here’s what I’m saying: If somebody pulls out a Dell computer, you can’t discriminate. Coffee shops are not macbook stores–there can be no discrimination based on your love for the OS operating system or higher Best Buy credit limit. Just because your battery life on your macbook goes eight hours, it doesn’t mean it’s rude if a PC dude asks if he can use the outlet for an hour. Relax alright!

•  Don’t be afraid to use a lid or pay for damages when you mess up.

Here’s a fun little story…I was working at a coffee shop last summer when this nice college student decided to dump her coffee on my computer. OH MY GOSH, I’M SO SORRY. Whatever, accidents happen, even $1400 accidents. But all I’m saying is that if this happened on the road with our cars, there is no way you could get away with an OH MY GOSH, I’M SO SORRY.  Anyway, the moral of the story…. It’s okay to use a lid. AND maybe buy them a $25 dollar gift card if you ruin there $1400 computer. Just saying.

There it is, a preview of The Coffee Shop Etiquette Handbook. Feel free to add any rules in the comment’s below. Hopefully, you will join me in this worthy cause to rid the world of inconsiderate coffee shop dwellers.

Growing older is a love/hate relationship.

On one hand, growing old sucks. I hate that I actually have to stretch when I play sports. I hate that the decision to eat In-N-Out in lue of a salad, actually makes a difference when I step on a scale. I hate that a hangover can last deep into the following day and four shots of anything 70+ can turn me into a sloppy drunk.  I hate that having a plate of nachos at 3:00 am would probably just give me heartburn now.

But when it comes to chasing my dream, I love getting older.

I love that I know myself enough not to start and stop a project on a whim. I know “talking” about doing things is a lot different then actually doing them. I know that a few hours here and there will NEVER be enough to see my dream come into fruition. I know that good intentions are not the same as results. I know that if you are willing to do things most people won’t, you will get things few people have.  I know that the “worst” thing is never that bad. I know that fear and self doubt are fucking powerful and have to be defeated everyday.

These are all things I didn’t know in my early twenties.

And that’s why getting older isn’t so bad.

When most of us start a project, there are very few haters.

Our mothers usually beem with pride (there’s my son, the entreprenuer) and our friends are overly supportive (oh yeah, 40 likes on my status). If you show them your art or idea, they will probably nod in excitement, “oh that sounds cool,” “what an amazing idea,” “this book is GREAAAT.”

It feels pretty good knowing that you are awesome and your idea is awesome and you can’t fail and you are the coolest person in the world and you are about to be rich and famous, right?

Then comes the first hater. It was bound to happen. If you’re doing anything worthwhile, somebody will be threatened. They will be upset that their job sucks or that they didn’t come up with the idea, or that they think their idea is better, or their cubicle blows. Or they might have just broken up with their girlfriend– and your piece of work/idea/whatever– was the first thing they came across. And then they slam you. I mean, hard. Their comment or email is so harsh that your stomach sinks and your head spins.

All of a sudden, everything prior to this moment is discounted. I suck, everyone lied, what am I doing, this is stupid, I shouldn’t have taken a risk, I should go back to what I know, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Here’s the deal. Stepping outside the box is hard. It opens you up to criticism. People don’t notice when you’re in line with everyone else. But they do notice the person that does something different. They see him as a threat; a rebel– someone that challenges their own decisions or their lack of action. Because if you can do it, so could they. So they will try to discredit you. They will say that your idea is lame and your art is whack.

You can try to fight it, but you will lose. The only thing you can do is push harder. EVERYONE who has ever risen of of obscurity has had haters. Anyone who has done anything worthwhile, has dealt with failure. You can internalize it and get pissed, but at the end of the day, you need them. If you didn’t have them, you would be stuck with friends and family nodding their head in approvel. You want people to say you suck, because it’s a direct sign that your circle of influence is expanding outside of your facebook newsfeed. It means that if you keep pushing, that same hater will have to continue to hear your name for years to come. And out of the ashes of hating comes respect. It means your doing something right. Dear First Hater. Thank You. Sincerely, Risk Taker.

The word obsession is usually seen as a negative thing, like the over infatuated guy that sends hundreds of texts messages to a girl without receiving ONE response. Or some over achieving high school student that cries in the girl’s bathroom after receiving his or her first B. Or even the guy that annoyingly pulls out his iphone because he hasn’t instragram’ed anything in the last five seconds.

But I don’t think obsession has to be a bad thing.

Here’s the dictionary.com definition.

The domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

Look at any great achievement and you will find someone who was obsessed. Someone who wanted to see an idea come into fruition so bad that they were willing to invest all their emotional and physical energy into it. If the entire team is obsessed, that’s even better. But the most important person that needs to be obsessed, is the guy with the idea; the dreamer.

In my early twenties, this was not me, bouncing from one idea to the next looking for the big payout. My belief was that I’d put one application out in the Itunes Store and I’d be rich. But as reality set in and I got older, I realized what it REALLY takes to bring something to the world and rise out of obscurity. Your idea has to dominate your thoughts and feelings. You have to wake up with that feeling like, “ok, how am I going to get one step closer today?” You have to go to sleep excited about what you’re going to do the next day.

Somewhere along the line we took obsession as something we shouldn’t seek out. We believed that if  you are obsessed with a dream, or a goal, you are probably pulling your hair out and mumbling profanity under your breath. You will be divorced at thirty-three and have irregular bowel movements at Forty. Yes, I agree, there is a balance, but being obsessed about your dream or idea is a good thing. It’s the only way to look pass the overwhelming obstacles that hit you like a ton of bricks. So when the road looks like shit and there a five hundred pound boulder in your way, you’re not going to turn back. You are so obsessed with bringing your idea to life that no obstacle will prevent you from moving forward.

If you’re not making ground in whatever goal you’ve set, you’ve got to ask yourself, are you obsessed with this goal? If you’re not, maybe it’s time to find something else to be obsessed with.

 I always think the first draft of my manuscripts are brililant. Holy shit, this is the best thing I’VE EVER WRITTEN. Then I reread the same thing a day later and suddenly it’s the worst thing I have ever written. Sometimes, I look at something I wrote when I was 22 and wonder if I really have a college diploma. Sometimes, I’ll look at it and wonder why I didn’t go to Stanford instead of UCSB. But no matter what mental roller coaster I decide to ride, I go into every piece of work knowing that this SOB manuscript is going to be shipped.

Of course, it’s not easy. Sometimes, I cling to hope and wake up invigorated and sometimes I cling to fear and smack the snooze button on my alarm. The truth is, creative peeps can be up and down, pumped up and scared. We can throw away whole books because “they suck” or can imagine sitting on Orpah’s couch answering questions about the protagonist. But at the end of the day, we have to ship our work. We have to put it on kindle or give it to the readers. If it can touch one person, that’s great. If it becomes a best seller, that’s even better. If it get’s smashed by reviewers, whatever, try again. So many people have come up to me after I published my first book and said, “I’ve written something.” “Really? Where can I find it?” * blank stare.*

We all give back in some way.  Some do it by battling diseases in Africa and some do it by clicking “donate $1 to breast cancer” at the Safeway check-out. But if you have a book, or a lost manuscript, a project, a drawing, whatever it is, ship that bitch. Show the world. Not just because you think it’s going to be a bestseller or go viral, because it’s your duty to give your art back. Don’t let fear or self doubt get in the way of shipping.